            |
We were due to fly down to South Africa for two months, from the beginning of March 2001 to the end of April. Two days before my yearly check-up in February, I felt another lump accidentally but this time in my left breast. I didn't like it one bit but was sceptical as this breast had been healthy so far. The mammogram showed that it was indeed a third cancer and again, Grade 3. Again, I dealt with it calmly and efficiently, only worrying about how it would affect the wearing of my wedding dress. Fortunately, I had almost two months to recover. I had the usual lumpectomy and started the radiation treatment on our return. Half-way through it though, I asked to see Mike regarding a swelling under my left arm, which I had at first attributed to the surgery but which I now felt uneasy about. Mike saw me immediately and we discovered that although my lymph nodes had been clear, by some quirk of nature, the cancer had gone higher up. I received the news as we were literally on our way to celebrate our second wedding anniversary in my favourite place, Loch Ness. I admit that this was a bit of a shock, as none of my cancers had spread before. However, sitting in the car, I quickly regained control and decided that I would just have to deal with it step by step, and told Gerhard to get on the road. It did me a world of good being up there and I put this fifth setback at the back of my mind for the weekend.
So back I was on the operating table to have the "rogue node" removed. Because as always, I had had a narrow escape with only one node being affected. I resumed the radiation but with a four-week extension, making it a total of eight weeks of trailing daily back and forth to the hospital. The treatment itself was no big deal and although I felt quite tired for a long period afterwards, I couldn't say whether this was due to the two operations or the radiation. The double dose of radiation left me with a higher risk of lymphodema and a swollen left breast, two cup sizes larger than the other. I can't say that it filled me with delight but I learned to live with it, and to hide it as best I could. More importantly though, this third cancer was another landmark in my life. From that point onwards, I had another review of my situation and started researching what I could do to help myself more actively. I started using alternative remedies/therapies instead of just talking about it, I changed my diet, gave up the dead-end jobs and petty office politics, and started various projects, including candle-making and a website to sell them (www.kandlewitch.co.uk - click and hold down Shift key to open in separate window). Setting this up was a lot of work but great fun too, and I know how fortunate I am to be able to stay at home and do all this. I also started reading a lot of inspirational literature, about positive thinking, how to take responsibility for your deeds, the thoughts in your head, the nutrition you give your body, the way you communicate with others, the life-choices that you make. I learned to examine each area of my life, which needed addressing and to redress the balance. I also adopted a more natural lifestyle, in harmony with the rhythms of Nature. In May 2003, my husband and I returned to Paris to celebrate our fourth wedding anniversary and there, you guessed it, my fourth cancer was found. It was again on the right-hand side in the same area as my first one, a very small and hard little lump which although I knew deep-down was suspicious, I couldn't tell apart from all the scar tissue inside my breast. It was removed just like the others and proved to be once more a brand new cancer, Grade 3 once more, unrelated to the others. I had no further treatment and a series of comprehensive tests revealed no secondary tumours elsewhere. All was well until May 2004. I found yet another small hard lump, the smallest ever in fact with only 5mm diameter. So tiny was it that the tests I had revealed nothing sinister but my surgeon thought it safer to remove it and have it properly analysed. The operation would be a minor one, removing as little tissue as possible. The news that it was benign unsettled me more than it reassured me, and so I was almost relieved when I went back from my results two weeks later and found out that it was a fifth cancer, the familiar Grade 3, still unrelated to the others. You might think that I have just about given up by now, but such is not the case. It is getting easier every time and going into surgery is no more worrying to me than a trip to the dentist, in fact less so! I had to have another operation a month later, as the margins of this one were not clear, but I was once more cancer-free. 6 tumours and 8 operations later, I was now totally asymmetrical. All my cancers had been of the higher grade 3 type; I have been the worst hit in my family but the longest to survive. The next step was some cosmetic surgery with an implant to make-up for the loss of tissue. I would need to have several tests done before that. Surely, it would be alright now - or would it?
|
